| relaxin... |
[May. 20th, 2004|09:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taking Back Sunday | ] |
today was crappy. it started off that way becuase my dad doesn't have lunch money for me and then he wakes up to me rummaging for change and instead of being cool he says, " it's too early," and goes back to bed. Well, DUH! it's too early, but i have to drag my booty to school, and i need FOOOD! dammnit.
went to school, made the bus too. veronica was there, we still don't talk, i think she thinks i'll give in, but i won't. she hurt me. school's meaningless now, not that it's about matt or anything but for like 6 odd months there was a real reason to go, now it's just ::pthhhh:: nothing, except my clay statues of master shake and frylock and meatwad. They are pretty cool. Photo Science is a bitch. you do every picture 10 times before it's good enough, that's annoying. we still have this sub in soc. and he's a d***, so i just go to sleep during the movie we watch. d period is fun still, Follman treats me like gold. what can i say, I LOVE READING.
Get home and immediately, "Tara, clean your dishes." I did, saw marq, went to work. Helped train new guy Nick. He's okay, he's not gorgeous, but he's nice and good looking, we sat for a while together before he got picked up. Of course no one remembers me at my house, and dad never told steve he had to get me.
WHY DOES MY BROTHER HAVE HIS LISCENSE AGAIN???
I got home and everything pissed me off, i know how my mom feels now. Everything looks like trash and you know no one else sees it or wants to help so you end up doing everything. huuuuuuuuuuhhhhh, yeah, i wrote this all in one breath. now it's sub-profile updating and website and off to bed for me.
i sweepie. xx |
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| everything since the prom... |
[May. 18th, 2004|07:00 am] |
saturday was the prom, the big hoo-rah. But suprisingly, it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. I mean I guess it could have been awesome, but all the planning, the stress, and the hype really just didn't seem worth it. I got dressed and a lot of people came over. CC and her boy, Jim, came and we took some pictures. Neighbors across the street came and were all like, "Tara, you are so pretty."
It is so nice to have that kind of confidence boost when you're really struggling to survive. Matt and the rest of the people showed up in the limo and we took some pictures before leaving. We got in line and it took about an hour and a half (the drive is really only 10 minutes). The inside of the school was amazing, people say that it's disorienting, that you can't tell where anything is, but I could. We hung out in the gym, but i didn't feel like dancing with Matt. So we checked my ridiculously high heels and then went to watch the hynotist show. It was okay, sure it was kids from the school, but i still don't believe it. I guess i will always be a skeptic. We went back to the gym where John Mayer played. Other poeple around us, Matt and I, were freakin out becuase they thought it was, "So crazy and unbelievable." They complained that it was stuffy and claustrophobic in there, but i was comfortable. I guess you get used to it after those pits at the Electric Factory. We ate with Corey and Ryan and their dates. food was ehhh. Went to the second hynotist show and then went home. I got out a beer and passed out. Apparently, alot of fun happened after I fell asleep but i was trying to avoid someone so, it was better that way.
We woke and left for the Poconos. I shouldn't have gone. I didn't have all that much fun. I would have rather stayed home and spent extra time with my mom before she left for Florida and then spent a long night with Marq, Joc, Andy, and the rest of those kids. But i went and to know avail we drank, smoked, and did nothing for a day and a half. I drank to forget everything and make the time better, which wasn't cool and Matt finally realized what was going on. Jim's dad found us and made Jim come home. My contact broke so I didn't go with them to the frisbee golf course. CC and I just hung out and watched (sat idly in front of the) tv. We came home at 5:30 and made matt come up to my room. Half an hour later, he was gone, and i was single. My stomach ached, my heart beat fast, and my mouth was dry. It was the hardest thing I think I've had to do in a long time. I drank a beer with my brother and made a ritual for solace. Waited for Marq to come over and we ate cheeseburgers over American Idol. He gave me a back massage and I went to sleep.
I woke up this morning and felt sick. Layed down, threw up. Showered got ready, Felt sick, layed down. Whimpered to my dad that I just couldn't do it. Changed back into sweatpants and went to sleep until 1:30. Sat around watching tv, played on the computer, Marq came over and hung around. We rented videos at Block buster. I drove. Came home and decided to go back to Live Journal.
I talked to Matt today, things seem to be okay now. We're friends I presume, but i know it'll be weird. it's always weird before it gets to a relatively normal point. So now, I guess it's just me and myself for now. I am sure there could be a guy again soon, but i dunno, he's gotta mean a whole lot. Plus, six months is a long time, maybe it's better off this way for now.
later... |
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| I am home! |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|12:15 am] |
hehe...yup! got in at 9:15. I was so happy. the ride home was excrutiating. I wanted to see matt sso bad. bad enough, i'm not going to go back and take out the extra s, hehe. no, i am just so frickin tired. i just wanted to come on and tell everyone how awesome my boyfriend is. he got me a francesca lia block book, the one i had looked at at barnes and nobles one day while we were there. my boyfriend is so perceptive. i love it. hehe, and he got me the drive-thru dvd with something corporate on it!i just wanted to tell every one! lol. i heart the matt...i do, i do, i do...
night
T |
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| leaving florida |
[Dec. 26th, 2003|10:08 pm] |
i am sooo happy to be going home tomorrow. it is kind of sucky that i won't be getting home home until 8 tomorrow night, but i am sure it will go by fast, and if all goes according to plan, matt will be there within minutes. mmm, all the things I want to do to that boy...lol. anyways, i just wanted to tell everyone that i had an awesome time down here. I actually got to wear a skirt and not freeze. spent a lot of days in tee shirts. quality time with megan. but i a also ecstatic to be coming home. I really miss matt, kizzy, and marq, joc, and nneka. You guys are like my sanity and here, well, i'll eventually go insane if i have to spend any time minus the five of you...but i have homework to finish, a plane ride...hopefully it's short. coming down felt long. well, i guess if i don't talk to you, i'll see you guys in the next few days...
T |
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| christmas day... |
[Dec. 25th, 2003|09:20 pm] |
well, my family is playing christmas bingo right now. i am talking to matt. transfering images from gregg's digital camera to the computer so i can show all you lovely folks where I be staying.
so far, good. we had an awesome dinner. i love carrots in brown sugar....
steve got weed?
and i am sleeping at megan's
we are going to play barbies...i'm secretly excited.
T |
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| christmas day... |
[Dec. 25th, 2003|04:13 pm] |
christmas this year has been suprisingly good. I feel a bit antisocial though, I have been sitting here messing with lj for two hours or so. then again, it could all be a plot to wait for matt to show up becuase i haven't spoke to him in a few days. last night, we all went to my cousin, michelle's, and had dinner. we all got pretty wasted and the kids opened some gifts. i received money and a small notepad from michele, her 2nd husband, steve, and her kids, megan & jake. megan & jake left shortly after to go their father's for the night. we left there around 11:30. steve suprisingly got sick from the alcohol, but then again he could never really handle it. when we got home my mom and i went with the twins, josh & jordan, to snuggle and i read them a christmas bedtime story. they fell asleep shortly and mom and i went downstairs to help the other adults bring the christmas presents down by the tree. it looked really nice how all the gifts were set up, there were soooo many presents. this morning the boys woke me up and i had some brownie bites with milk(mmmm...so yummy!). we waited for ethan, and the collective parents to wake-up then the boys opened their gifts, steve and i followed, and i stuck around on the couch to watch the adults open their gifts as well. i put together ethan's power rangers mega blok set, and let me tell you, don't ever buy mega blok's, always get legos. They are so much nicer and they don't hurt as much. it takes forever to connect those blocks and you have to press so hard...
usually x-mas sucks for me and i really thought this year was going to be the same for me considering i was leaving some of my favorite things behind(matt & my friends). however the distance, it was really nice to see "everyone" in the same room together and equally nice was it to see "everyone" having a good time. three generations were gathered in the same room at once and they hadn't been for atleast 5 years or so(i'm sure it's more). we got a picture of it too. so i just wanted to say that as much as i hated leaving my friends and mwer! my matt, it has been so wonderful to spend the holidays the best way for them to be spent.
enough hallmark mushy stuff...
for christmas/hanukkah i recieved:
clothes from abercrombie, a&e, GAP, and delia's
2 pairs of birks
jewelry
make-up stuff
books
extra-awesome necklace and bracelet from the twins...why, cuz it's them
lots o' money
...hehe, a chippendale's poster (gettin' ready for the stripclub, nnek!)
and i hope that you had a wonderful christmas, hanukkah, holiday season, and will have an awesome new year...
T |
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